Chayey Sarah 2021

1The Parsha contains an inordinate amount of detail surrounding the effort to find a suitable partner for Isaac. Isaac was forty when the story unfolds, a bit late in life for his father to “send out for a wife”. Why could he not be trusted to choose his own wife from among the local women or even to go himself to the house of Besuael and choose Rebecca? Many also question the object of holiness that was selected to establish the oath. Eliezer was instructed to grasp the thigh of Abraham. Why didn’t Abraham instruct Eliezer to grasp his own thigh?

2Avraham complained to G-d in Lech Lecha. “What are you going to give me and I am “Ariri” childless or cursed and Eliezer the administrator of my house is going to inherit me?” (15:2-3) The Ramban is puzzled by Abraham’s apparent lack of faith. Hadn’t G-d just told Abraham in chapter 13 verse 15, “I will give you this land to your children and I will make your children numerous like the dust of the earth”?

3Abraham referred to his servant Eliezer as “Damesek Beiti”. Damesek means either the one who came from Damascus or, as Rashi suggests, the one who runs the family and delivers my message. The pasuk is silent as to where the name Eliezer came from. Possibly it was given to him by Abraham. “Eliezer” translated roughly means, “G-d has given me a helper.” Similarly, Moses named his eldest Eliezer, “And the one was named Eliezer for the G-d of my father has been my savior and has saved me from Pharaoh’s sword.” (Ex 18:3) Aaron’s 3rd and most important son’s name was Elazar, slightly different but the same. He helped his father do G-d’s work.

4Abraham was blessed with remarkable servant named Eliezer, who could be relied upon totally to manage the entire household and to spread Abraham’s message to the world. On the other hand Abraham’s understood that in order to have a nation of G-d, he needed heirs, blood heirs and not merely philosophical heirs.

5It is in this context Abraham demonstrated a generosity of spirit. The single most important thing to Abraham was the future of his family and through the family his teachings. The willingness of Abraham to delegate this crucial and delicate mission was a tremendous vote of confidence. It teaches us the importance of putting our faith and trust in others. But understand it wasn’t just trust in the person Eliezer; it was in the relationship that Eliezer had developed with G-d. Despite the great respect and love he had for Eliezer the covenantal family must come from Abraham not Eliezer. When selecting a holy object for the oath, Abraham did not select the thigh of Eliezer.

6The sending out of Eliezer was a fulfillment of a Prophetic vision. Abraham instructed Eliezer to go to his homeland to get a wife, the wife who has been already been chosen by G-d. There was no need for Isaac to go and choose. Like Isaac’s conception and birth and re-birth at the Akeida the choice of a wife for the covenantal child was G-d directed.

7We can now understand the Eliezer’s plea “the girl who shall come forth etc”. Eliezer understood that his mission was merely to complete his master’s prophetic vision. It was the behavior of a servant who despite some reservations performed beautifully fulfilling his master’s wishes and delivering the covenantal wife to the covenantal child.

8Dedicated to the memory of Joel Shulman A’H